When many of us are around other people we secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, ask ourselves this question, “Am I good enough?” In essence what many of us are asking is, “Am I as valuable as the next person?” As men and women, do we measure up as human beings when compared to our bosses, our coworkers, the guys we play basketball with after work, our spouses, or the woman who always comes into work looking like she came out of Shape Magazine or Cosmopolitan? Unfortunately, too many people don’t believe they measure up to the rest of society. We don’t believe we are witty enough, rich enough, or beautiful enough.
When individuals start believing they are not as good as other people, they tend to have the following thought pattern. “If I am not as valuable as other people, then in some way I will be rejected by those around me. If I am rejected by those around me, then I won’t be loved by them which is what I really want. If people do not love me, then I will spend my life alone.” I have had many clients over the years who have expressed their frustration and anger over not being as valuable as the rest of the world’s population. This faulty thinking can lead to many mental disorders, extreme social anxiety and major depression just being a couple of them.
I have encouraging news for all of you reading this article. You are as valuable as anyone else in this world. On August 28, 1982; I was in the delivery room with my wife and our first child was born. I got to hold him while he still looked squishy and wrinkly, a miracle, but not much to look at yet. When he was born, he did not hand his mom any money for nine months of room and board. All he could do was cry, eat, and poop which really did not help to lighten the work load for either of us. He offered nothing, but we still gave him our name; took him home, and gave him all the love we could. Why would we do that? Our son, Joshua Michael Holland, was born into our family and as a part of our family he had unlimited, innate value to his parents.
Here is your good news! Every individual ever born, you included, was/is born into the human family and has an innate value equal to all others. Your value is an essential quality inherent in you. If you have trouble believing this truth or wrapping your arms around this wonderful reality, please give VCC a call and set up a time to speak with me or any of our great therapists. It will be worth your time because “Your are good enough!”
Michael J. Holland