1. Become your husband’s Cheerleader
Your husband lives in a world where it is important for him to know that he is winning. So what's the best thing you can do for him? Become his cheerleader. A friend of mine told me that when a man hits midlife he needs his wife to be more like a girlfriend, than a mother. We all, at times, need someone spurring us on, cheering for us from the sidelines, being on our greatest fan. Your husband needs a #1 fan to cheer him on, support him, encourage him, and believe in him even when he isn’t too sure he believes in himself. And that number one fan needs to be you.
2. Stand alongside your husband
In Genesis 2:18 after God created Adam; He saw that it was "not good for the man to be alone.” So God made a helper who was "just right for him.” We are to be for each other at times a counselor, comforter, intercessor, and advocate. The Hebrew word translated "helper" in Genesis 2:18 can also be interpreted as one who brings unique strengths and qualities to the other. These qualities, found in women, complete the union between a husband and wife.
3. Pray for your husband
One of the best ways you can come alongside your spouse and be his helper is to quietly watch and prayerfully wait upon God to know what he needs and how you might best respond to meet those needs. Just as the Holy Spirit quietly ministers to your heart, you can quietly minister to your spouse’s heart by being his helper and support.
4. Encourage and Affirm your Husband
Be mindful of affirming your partner for all the kind acts of service, successes and accomplishments he’s achieving. This helps your partner feel acknowledged and loved.
Small kind acts of leaving sticky notes, saying, "thanks, honey," short phone or text messages throughout the day can go a long way in helping others to feel loved and acknowledged for their efforts. These can also remind them they are loved and connected. These small examples emphasize that you should never underestimate how your words impact your husband or loved ones. One comment, or one note, can minister healing and truly be uplifting to him.
Of course, encouraging your husband will take deliberate effort. Sometimes you won't be that interested in hearing about his meetings at work, latest idea, or favorite sports team. But remember, your encouragement and affirming words will inspire him more than anyone else's.
You can have a profound impact on your husband’s life, job and personal well being, simply by providing a reaffirming voice, a positive smile, or a tender touch.
5. Elevate your husband when you are in front of others
My husband told me “a guy wants to feel like he is his wife’s hero. There’s nothing better than hearing my wife tell someone else: ‘My husband is the man for that job. He’s the best there is.’ When she says that, and really believes it, I feel I can do anything, and I want to make everything happen for us.”
Ephesians 4:29 gives us a beautiful principle to live by -- and it especially works in marriages: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” That verse implies that others have a need to be built up, and when you think about it, who doesn’t? Your husband has that need, too, especially to be built up by you. Find ways to build your husband up privately and publicly.
6. Respond with Enthusiasm when you speak to your Husband
Positive words are great, but they are not enough. It is important for your actions to show how much you support and love your husband. Affirming looks, smiles, touches, hugs, kisses, and sexual intimacy (initiated by you!) are priceless. To the contrary, the roll of your eyes, the tightening of your lips, and an exasperated sigh will tell your husband that you are disappointed in him. Let the light in your eyes, the spring in your step and the smile on your lips show how much you adore him. Give him no reason to doubt that you are his greatest fan, and that he is the love of your life!
If you are experiencing difficulty in your marital relationship, we have a professional caring team of therapists at VCC who are ready to help you and your spouse work on difficult issues so that you can have a strong healthy marriage.