We all have various things we would like to change in our lives. Some
of us may want to change a relationship with a significant other, family
member or friend; or maybe change our environment and location, or
something situational as with a job or our health. Among the external
factors that we want to change, it is also very important to not
overlook the internal factors that need to be addressed, such as our
attitude, perception, beliefs and character, since these factors have
great influence on how we see and approach the external world. It is
easy to notice what other people need to change, but it can be pretty
excruciating to face the truth of what we need to change within
ourselves. In this 3 part article, you will first discover some reasons
that can guide you to making some positive general changes in your life.
Part 2 will address the process of how to actually make some of these
changes, and finally in part 3, you will notice some of the barriers
that could get in the way of making healthy lasting change.
To start this off, it is best to think and process deeply about some of the reasons why you would want to make change in your life before actually getting to the how to change process. Here are some questions and ideas for you to take some time and think about:
This is similar to learning the hard way. When we are faced unexpectedly with a situation or circumstance that we are unprepared for, this can lead a person to having no choice but to make a change. This is probably the most undesirable way to change, but it will definitely get some people moving a lot quicker. An example would be receiving a health scare if you are living an unhealthy lifestyle or a divorce threat to an unfaithful partner.
It is important to think about what your motive is. The following are some questions to consider: What or who motivates you in life? Where does your energy come from and where is it invested? Is it healthy or unhealthy for you and others around you? Does love motivate you to make positive change, or fear? More specifically, is your motivation to become a more loving spouse, a less critical parent, a more hardworking employee, etc.?
Who is your role model in life? Is there someone in your life that you look up to or hope to be like someday? It is important to notice what qualities they possess and what influence they have on your life and most importantly if they are a positive and healthy role model for you. It is also essential to consider that you are someone elseÂ’s role model. Whether you want to be or not, whether a good one or bad one, all that we do has influence over others around us. What you do or donÂ’t do, whether in private or out in the open, will have some effect on others around you.
Growing pains are a necessary part of life. A negative pattern of beliefs or attitudes could leave you stuck or paralyzed while you are witnessing the world around you move forward. The process of change leads to growth, it leads to experiences and sharing of all these experiences with others to encourage that same cycle of growth and change.
HowÂ’s that working for you?
How is a certain behavior, belief, attitude or perception working for you? How is it working for others around you? Or is it working against you? Change is generally good as long as it is positive and healthy and not harming others.
It will be nearly impossible to move onto the next step of how to actually make those lasting changes, without deeply taking time to look into the above reasons and find some solid, wholesome reason to change.
Please stay tuned for Part 2 of this article in August. In Part 2 of Making Changes, we will discover some ideas related to the How to Change process.